what thoughts rattle around in your brain when you're a mom of a toddler and a breast cancer patient?

Monday, January 03, 2005

Natural Disasters

During my blogging break, the Earth suffered a terrible loss of human life. I'm mostly speechless about words to use to describe how it makes me feel. That so many souls left the planet at the same time has me wondering what sort of karmic energy blast might have occured that simple people like you and me can't possibly perceive.

One of the stranger things about the tsunami is that rescue crews have not found any dead animals. What does that mean? Did the animals have a good early warning system that made them flee so far inland that they were all safe? Or did those animals just get swept out to sea only to sink to the bottom of the ocean?

I feel incredible sorrow for any parent who has lost a child. I can not imagine the pain.

The suddenness of it all reminds me that quite possibly, today might be the last day here for any of us. When I write "here" I mean here on Earth. Every once in a while, Mother Nature shakes her coat like a dog with fleas and people die. I spent alot of time in 2004 worrying about cancer. I'll probably spend more time worrying about it in 2005 but a big disaster like the tsunami of 2004 might help me keep my perspective.


One other thing I wanted to write about...I was talking to Dan last week and he mentioned that while I was in the hospital for my mastectomy surgery, there was always someone (Dan, JoAnne or Dad) in the room with me because he never wanted me to wake up alone and scared. I actually didn't realize that since I was so out of it. But hearing it made me want to cry simply from gratitude. He is such a good man.

On the subject of chemo countdown? I have two more treatments to go. The treatments are getting harder to deal with: I'm more tired and out of sorts for each one. This last one took me about 5 days to get to a place where I felt ok. I slept alot during the holiday break--I just didn't have much energy and frankly, I still don't have much now.

Once chemo is over, I'll get a three week break and then I start the final kind of treatment: radiation. I have 28 sessions and I'll have to go 5 days a week.


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