The Hokey Pokey Chemo

I was just chatting with my friend Linz on IM today about my latest chemo tragedy. The Vanderbilt Regimen of chemo has done nothing to shrink the bad guys in my lungs, so it isn't working. I've had two treatments/rounds and it should have had some impact but it didn't. I told Linz that I go into each kind of new chemo thinking it might be the Magic Bullet to Turn it All Around...and that's What it's All About.

So, next on my tour of all chemo drugs known to mankind is Navelbine. Will it be The Hokey Pokey Chemo that kills cancer dead? We'll see. I haven't asked my oncologist how many treatments we will try before putting me back in the CT scan to check on the bad guys in my lungs. Navelbine is a weekly 3o minute IV drip. It actually sounds alot less bad then the side effects I endured from Vanderbilt Regimen. I mean, I'm totally willing to take an ass kicking to kill cancer with chemo but if the drugs aren't working it sure isn't worth it to feel so bad.

In other news, I have a fractured rib that apparently is an unfortunate result of my pleurodesis surgery. I have had loads of xrays between surgery and now but only the CT scan picked it up. In a way, I feel sort of vindicated because I still have so much surgery site pain and I didn't think I should. But heck, if a rib is fractured right in between both incisions, then it all makes sense.

My birthday is coming up on May 7, and my wedding anniversary is May 5. With all the crap going on with my health, I keep thinking, is this my last birthday? Since finding out about the spread of breat cancer tumors to my lungs, the words "poor prognosis" have been used to describe my condition--one doctor, one assistant and my malpractice lawyer have all used it, although god bless him, my own oncologist has the senstivity not to use those morale-defying word in my presence.

It might be hard to tell but I'm actually feeling better today both emotionally and physically. I even spent about 6 hours at work. I'm going to go to work again tomorrow, I think its good for me, and of course, I need the money. I don't know what I'll do if I get to the point where I am too sick/tired/whatever to work. I have adult-sized expenses and I don't think disability pay lasts forever. Remind me to look into that...what exactly happens to people who become chronically ill and have to stop working? Are they the homeless I see? Do they live on the couch at a relative's house? It seems worth researching.