what thoughts rattle around in your brain when you're a mom of a toddler and a breast cancer patient?

Sunday, June 19, 2005

A short reprieve

Dan I and took a few days to spend some quite nights alone at a beautiful bed and breakfast place up at Newport Beach. It was wonderful. The drive wasn't too long, the traffic was not California awful and we found the place with little or no problem. Remind me to call them about their elevator being out all weekend. Ordinarily this wouldd not have been a big dealio but since I have oxygen strapped to my face to accommodate for some tired lungs, an elevator would have just made our stay a bit more convenient.

Decorated Victorian style by the owners, The Dorymann's Inn was just what they had shown me on web--large quiet rooms with nice juicy bathtubs and fireplaces in each room. It was located right across from the beach and pier so once the car was parked, it was all good.

Somehow all this rest has made me more tired than when we got started out. All the meds I'm taking for pain just make my brain feel retarted.. No hand to eye coordination and lots of slow, rolling fog. Like of the Edgar Allen Poe Variety.

So I am out of wok for a couple of months. The worry list is beginning. I have to remember that this is no scam, this is real and my claim is real and I am worth it to do this right. My goals are
  • To rest
  • To attend all doctor appointments with a second pair of ears and a second pair of arms...this news keeps getting worse so I need my best huggers now,
  • To eat regularly and healthfully. You would not believe it it...last night I triumphantly finshed half a bowl of lobster bisque, then had half of a deliciously concocted salad made of crunchy asian pears, spring greens, blueberries, gorgonzola cheese and candied walnuts followed deliciously by a perfectly done, medium steak diane with mushrooms that filled the air with its precious aroma. It was so good. I ate as much as a I could and ever so gracriously, when asked, I turned in my fork and refused desert.

We paid the check and headed back to our room in the secret hallways of our sweet little place. By the time we had reached the halfway mark to our roomI knew it was not to be. The food had sort of lodged it's way in my chest and had quit descending. By the time I got all the way up to our room, I headed right for the bathroom. Bye Bye my delightful dinner, we will meet again.

When will I start chemo? Maybe Wednesday. Like I said I still feel tired. And since this one willl make all hair fall out, I would like to try to duplicate my hairstyle and it's highlights, which I rather like. I do have two wigs left over from my last run in with TAC chemo which made me egg bald for a year but frankly I'd rather wear mickey mouse ears than put one of those wigs on my head again. Yuck.

16 Comments:

Blogger carla said...

Sounds like your bed and breakfast was heavenly! Bless Dan for taking such wonderful care of you.

I think your list is perfect and right on the mark. Bless YOU for continuing your fight.

Im throwing you my usual Virtual hug that as ever wish could be in person.

You are SO LOVED, you are PRAYED for and you are so special to so many of us.

As always, Always here always thinking of you.

Carla

9:14 AM

 
Blogger Kristina said...

I have not been back to your website in a while, as I have been learning about my own diagnosis and underwent my mastectomy (the first of two,I think) last week. I'm glad that I came by your website today - I see that you can use love and support, even from strangers!

I'm proud of you for fighting the good fight. "Do not go gentle into that good night..." I wish we knew what the future held, but even if it involves laying down to rest, we don't want to miss a moment of living between now and then. I say "we" because I am on this path behind you, still learning my way as well.

You are strong. You are brave. I admire you.

I wish you courage, peace, and a good night's rest.
Kristina

8:29 PM

 
Anonymous Amber said...

Carla couldn't have said it better. I wish I could be of more help to you.

"You are so LOVED, you are Prayed for and you are so special to many of us."

Wishing you peace,
Amber

1:35 PM

 
Anonymous Chrissy said...

You are an inspiration to EVERYONE. And YOU WILL WIN THIS FIGHT!!! DON't EVER, EVER, EVER give up!!!

7:12 PM

 
Blogger Kristina said...

I keep coming back to find your update. I hope that you are well...
Kristina

2:24 PM

 
Blogger MissMaggoo said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:35 PM

 
Blogger MissMaggoo said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:36 PM

 
Blogger MissMaggoo said...

Dagnabbit I cannot believe you tossed that luscious sounding dinner! Reading about it was like reading Gourmet magazine, put my Boboli pizza to shame and back.

You are a fighter and a spirit to be reckoned with. You are doing one hell of a job getting through this adn that's just what you'll do - GET THROUGH THIS!

Fight on my friend!

7:37 PM

 
Blogger TG said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:09 PM

 
Blogger TG said...

Ronne, your vacay sounded beautiful. I want to visit that b&b. sorry the dinner didn't stay long.

Just checking on you. I am praying for you. - teena

7:11 PM

 
Anonymous chrissy47 said...

I am still praying and have a bottle of the Healing Waters from Lourdes, France. If you want it, if someone will let me know where to FEDEX it, I will. You are the BRAVEST woman I know, Ronne. FIGHT BACK!!!

9:02 AM

 
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